Bye.

Thousands and thousands pieces of paper off to see the world.

THIS is ESPN magazine?

Oh Javier Baez, we all lookin at your, uh, bat. Mm, hmm.

Clear summer day on top of Gresham

Hi Hood.

Taped to the mailbox today...

I'm sad for this little girl, and sense the father's anger at her bike being stolen but there's something about his approach to posting this flyer (and dozens more around the neighborhood) that strikes me as a bummer. It's someone's personal drama displayed all over the place. But I get it.

Wuh-oh..

Here I am again...another long, lonely dirt road, looking for a house to deliver some package to, (that probably contains a lint roller). No one's in the bushes. No one's in the bushes. I'm pretty sure that NO ONE'S in the bushes.

...right?

Ever since the weather got nice,

and people at work found out I ride motorcycles, they only talk about motorcycles with me now. Ladies in their mid 50s pulling out their iPhones to show me their new bike bags and pipes, bald managers telling me about how they "really need to get the dust off that thing and fix the carb". The cool thing is that a good handful of the postal workers ride, but it seemed like no one was feeling the stoke about it until I kept riding in each morning. Since summer hit and this happened, I've started seeing more bikes pop up in the parking lot. If that means I get to talk about bikes and events and meet potential new folks to rip with, I'm in! #motorcyclemania hahaha

You know what day it is

Sunday in the Amazon.

Hello pretties

Gresham is full of calendar photos.

Sometimes I see a bush like this

and I think that's the kind of bush I'll plant at my house one day.

Thomas's whip is SUPER safe

I'm on top of you, Gresham.

Where am I?

That feeling when you're taking a road to deliver a package that doesn't show up on GPS and you hope no one jumps out of the brush with a chainsaw.

Portland! This cozy, cabin-style cottage is available to rent for only $1500/month

Complete with solar panels, landscaping, a picket fence, boarded up windows (for privacy) and a big red flag. Act soon.

Every Monday morning...

..here we go.

I want to live in this world

 ...A world free from hate and fear. A colorblind world of pink flamingos.

So..many..flamingos.

Finally. A dog that didn't want to tear me to shreds...

 I knew that stealing him would be bad, so I resisted.

I love you, dog. Will someone surprise me with a puppy for my birthday like they do in the movies please?

Can you guess where my glove ripped?

Been a minute...

I've been layed up with this injury. Turns out running on wet sidewalks is slippery.

Just kidding. I'm lazy and a mail blog is boring.

There are uniforms available to wear and I'm like...

When you're hungover on Monday morning...

..I thought this was real blood. As decoration. Why is this a thing? 

Gross either way.

Cats, man. ......Cats.

I felt so uncool trying to take a picture of this cat. Like, who does he think he is climbing into the mail truck like a stowaway? They already made a movie about that called "The Outsiders" dude.

That old thing again

I'm starting to get the feeling that this blog will mostly be about Mt. Hood. It's pretty easy to forget we live among volcanoes. On a very nerdy level, I think that's pretty cool. I see the white ghost everywhere I go on this route. It doesn't look like much from an iPhone, but trust me when I tell you that gawking at Hood all day long feels more like Bilbo Baggins staring up at the Mordor of the North...you know, the good mountain. It's pretty breathtaking from where I am. Trust me. It's a big pile of pretty snow, so just look at it.

Reason-why-working-outdoors-rules #2

Seeing Mt.Hood just over there...

Swag Bag

If you're thinking about applying to the post office, but thought, "Hmm, maybe I won't get to express myself", or "I heard the benefits were pretty good but, postal workers seem grumpy...probably because they're not appreciated by their employer." Well, think again. How could I possibly be bummed when they send me presents?

 Postal paraphernalia. Hat? Check. Water bottle? Check. Lanyard? Check. Sweet drawstring bag? That's a big, fat check. Talk about expressing yourself!

#postalproud

 As you may recall, I was really pumped to wear a uniform and then discovered I wasn't required to..or even allowed...(I think? Update coming soon). So you can imagine my joy when unearthing this hat from the box. 

And yes, I will be wearing it often, so get jealous.

Reason-why-working-outdoors-rules #1...

The entire rainbow.

Pro Tip...

If you dislike opening your mail box every Tuesday to find it stuffed full of unwanted papers, (i.e., junk coupons, advertisements for junk, flashy sales on junk, etc.) as much as I dislike delivering it, there is a solution. Please look on the spine of the outer ad and call the 1-800 number to be taken off their delivery route.

Tell your friends. Tell your family. Please. TELL EVERYONE.

 That number is 1-800-727-2695.

My lower back and knees will thank you. Again, that number is 1-800-727-2695 mm, k? Or, just keep using it for kindling. I'll gladly accept offers of hot coffee from your fire anytime.

That kind of day

When sorting, casing, and delivering the mail, if I don't wear rubber gloves, it sort of looks like I've been digging through the trash. My hands get filthy. When I do wear gloves, and they rip, well. You have this situation here. And then an hour later, the thumb falls away and it's more like sad Michael Jackson meets sad street performer, who is conveniently delivering your mail. This is one physically laborious job. I'm quickly learning what muscle groups I've neglected.

...but then I see this cool mural and realize I may find some buddies when I'm out here delivering all this paper!

Also. I can't wait for summer. Have you seen those cool shorts mail carriers get to wear??

Fatigue

Man. There's a lot of new information to share..but..you know what? I worked another 14 hour day and my thoughts are pretty mushy. On the fly, here's what I can tell you...

• I've been up since 4:30am.
• I delivered my route's mail on my own for the first time today without a break.
• I ate an apple. It was the best apple I ever ate. It was luxurious, and I ate it alone, in my little truck, with no music, no phone, nobody. Just the heater on and the rain hitting the tin.
• I dreamt about work for the first time last night. It was a stress dream because I was working without getting paid. But, I didn't feel real stress. Break that down for me please?
• I wished I listened to Tupac today. Pretty convinced rap will save your soul.
• I delivered mail at night and wore a headlamp. Pro status.
• Cha-ching, cha-china, cha-ching....is my new motto.
• I also saw this at work. #workseen

....pretty sure that's not how you do it though.

Good night. Doing it all again tomorrow. I know I've got complete sentences in here somewhere. 

...moment of zen...the last bundle delivered.